Maybe what you're seeing is a phantom me.

I sit on my porch and think,
Thinking about how I used to be.
I can never learn from my mistakes I guess,
Or maybe I do sometimes but things ain't right this time.

Maybe I was born a rebel,
Maybe that's what I really am.
I dun like people telling me what to do and controlling me like a puppet,
Because I only wish for a life by my own.
A pull at times are appreciated but not when people just keep screwing with you.

Hard cold facts came down hard,
And I mean hard enough to smash you apart.

Now I'm frustrated and shit,
My temper is getting the better of me.
I feel it's impossible for me to talk to anyone with peace now.
Because I lack of peace myself now,
And I'm really so damn pissed.

I tell myself to study,
And I end up playing.
I can't see myself studying,
Because I myself am not a motivational thing.

I try to find joy today in doing things.
But things just don't go well today for me.
Maybe declination and depressing times are setting in,
I guess I have no choice but to let it be.