number 148

I think I'm bleeding in the brain.
Coz it seems that my thoughts are all drained.
I really don't know if I should say,
But whenever I want to let it out,
Something's holding me up.

If only I had a little more courage,
If only I had a little more guts.
If only I had a little more effort,
If only I had a little more luck.

I totally hate this period of my life.
It's a total pain.
I know I'm the envy of many busy people.
But I'm totally sick of my monotony.

Will someone out there please help me?
What should I do next?
I know it clear that less than 10 people will be reading this,
But all I need is an answer.
Should I?
Or should I not?