Number 136

He sees the chance and he's not letting up.
He'll never ever again let the chance run.
He needs strength, support and luck.
To capture everything that's useful for him in the long run.

But God knows if he can do it.
For any mistake is gon' be costly.
He got no room for that shit.
If he wants to survive this.

He gon' push all the way.
And try to do what's best.
Never giving up nor reversing.
And that's the spirit living in him.

Oh hello.

Sup people. This gon' be my 135th post.
It's been thru coldhater.bs/ in-hot-water.bs/ drink-whiskey.bs.
And now. it's the same damn fuck the planet.

God damn it. I'm suddenly feeling so high.
Most importantly, I dun even know why.

Someone help me please.
Help me from my state.
Before I start dancing.
Yeah. Dancing out in the streets.

I feel as though I just took two dose of ecstacy.
And I'm high like fuck.
I just feel like screaming my head and whack some butt.

God damn. For those who wants to help but can't.
Sorry but thanks.
For you know that I'm just kidding!

WAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Damn. I gon' kill you.

God damn it. This is just simply fucked up.
Why am I always placed in front?
Like what the fuck.

Am I that bloody short?
Can you explain why?
Why do people shorter than me,
GET TO SIT BEHIND ME AND I'M ALWAYS STUCK IN FRONT?!

FUCK THIS ARRANGEMENT!
I'M BLOODY UNHAPPY!
I DUN EVEN CARE IF THIS WORDS DO RHYME ANYMORE
COZ IN MY HEART, ALL I KNOW IS THAT.
I HATE YOU.

GOD DAMN IT. I'M SO PISSED THAT I DUNNO
I DUNNO WHAT TO SAY. BUT THSI NARROWED MY VOCABULARY
DOWN TO TWO WORDS. AND THAT IS
FUCK YOU!

I just don't understand.

Why have things gotten to what it is now?
Why didn't you stop when I told you to.
Why did you just keep carrying on?
And maybe that's because you want to see me pissed off.

From now one, I have resoluted.
I will never give a fuck no more.
To whatever shit you have to blabber about.
Getting angry will only harm my own body.
I rather treat you as some one.
Non existent, and live my own life.

But. I never want things to turn out this way.
We look into the face no more,
And I'll just play Satan in your activities.
All we can see in each other is hate,
And I really hate it this way.

I know you not gon' see it,
But this is just my venting.
No matter what, I will not give in.

Since I've set out this demonic path,
I will never want to give up.
You want me to apologise,
You can wait for your life.

I'm not gonna let this rest easy
Like I used to just let go previously.
Don't you worry. I swear.
You gonna see the worst of me.

ARGH!

I never want to be this way,
But the people keep getting in my way.
I may turn into Satan someday,
When-this is what we can't say.

I act like I've no problem in life,
But my pressure keeps piling,
The teachers' expectations keep rising.

I can't keep my head straight or right,
And I can no more differentiate between right or wrong.
I want to move on,
But there're bound to be obstacles.
I try to get them away,
But they just don't budge but stay.

Sometimes I just wondered what the fuck is wrong with me.
Don't worry it'll get over someday.
I try to look at my front,
But the sides are my distractions.

I know I can't stay.
I know I can't remain the same.
But I certainly need time to advance.
I promise that when I see a chance,
Imma grab it and not let down.

Yeah. I'm not gonna let myself down.

God damn it.

The bomb has went off.
My temper is on and off.
I can't predict what I'm capable of.

Everything seems so fucked up.
Everything seems to be going against me.
Or issit me going against the flow?

Iono. But I know a thing or so.
That I've blown and can't put up with the nonsense no more.

Fuck it. Why am I hollering about all this shit here,
In this fucked up mood that I have.
On this earth I hardly find any peace,
All I hear is nonsense.

So people like fucking me up and think it's fun.
Fuck you cats. Fuck with me one more time.
And Imma take your bloody life.
I swear I'm not letting things rest as easy
As I used to handle stuffs in the past.

random-ness

Sometimes I feel like shit.
Sometimes I act like dick.
This very moment, I think.
Everyone's like that ain't it?

But I think again.
Why can everyone else seem to be happy
For 24/7
But for me, I fuck up every now and then.

No one knows what'll happen the next minute,
Let alone the next day.
I try to live every other day.
With my head lifted and walk with my back straight.

For now I would like to quote.
Coz I think the following quote is too meaningful.
'I will not fall
I will stand tall
Feels like no one can beat me'
Source: Till I Collapse - Eminem.

Random

Very soon I'm bout to blow.
Soon in the future is what that'll show.

I might seem like a nobody,
I may seem like a gay.
But once I blow, I can't phantom how'll it be.

I try hard to conceal.
Try hard to hide.
But no matter how hard i try,
My efforts a futile.

I try to be what I really am,
But it's never seem to work.
For I'm always putting on a mask,
To hide the sore in me.

You guys may be at advantage,
But Imma change that to disadvantage.
I'm be a demon if I like.
Be a angel is I feel like.

Because I just don't care what you like.

???

Sometimes I feel like a lunatic,
Doing things kinds of crazy shit.
I feel weak deep down there,
But still wants to hang on there.

I'm letting this remind myself
That no matter how bad I fall,
It ain't gonna matter for I'm not gonna moan.

If I ever give up,
There would be only 2 chances.
One is when I'm lying in my deathbed,
Two is when I'm lying on my bed.

Tireless I may seem to be,
Tired is the feeling inside me.
I gather all the energy I have, and do what's best for me.

No matter the outcome,
I ain't gonna be,
Happy angry or whatever you name it.

I'll listen to my body.
And fall back when it tells me.

Oh

Btw, i did that for some venting of anger.

Damn it.

As the rain pounded,
My thoughts bewildered.
Why is it like this,
What happened to that?

I went into the shower,
Wet myself with some water,
Thinking that I may think better.
But it didn't work,
Just making me more tired.

I heard the birds chirping, the sound of joy.
I heard the music playing, the sound of sadness.
What really lies beneath me,
I guess it's not nice to unleash.

See, I wanted to be a joyous person,
But situation became worse.
I had to do things I hate,
I turned into Satan.

Karma is declining,
And I know a catastrophe for me's coming.
I'm prepared for the worse,
Even if it means dying.

Only will death bring me down that's what I said.
So I think i will not let other things to make me collapse.
I'm not a weakling and I will not want to swear.
So I'm trying hard as I could to make do without those words.

God. Let me know if I'm dying as I would want to thank.
Locate all those who made my life worth living,
And say a word of thanks.

Oh by the way,

I JUST DON'T GIVE A FUCK

Fuck it. I'm back.

Okay people. I'm back blogging. Life's fucking boring for me. School's fucked up as usual. Fucked up teachers with their shit ass faces. Damn. So you think my handwritting messy huh? Wants me to copy reader's digest huh? Come on man. Wake up. What the fuck is wrong with you? I dare you to go out on the streets and do a survey if my handwritting's untidy. Fuck. Bitch. My homies understand my handwritting. Everyone does. It's the problem in your eyes. You hoe. I'm fucked up and pissed off. Yeah. So? Even if some people reads this and whatever shit I'm in trouble. I don't give a god damn fuck yo. My handwritting not hieroglyphic, it's the problem in you. I know my subliminal thoughts sometimes can be sporadic and whatsoever, getting people pissed with me. But hey. WHO ON EARTH GIVES A GOD DAMN FUCK ABOUT IT?! TELL ME! FUCK YOU! TELL ME! I dunno why I'm doing this also, wasting my god damn time, blabbering all this shit out of me, yeah. I have an attitude problem. But so what. Come get me. I dun care. Fuck it. I'm outta here.