070809

Too many things happened,
Too little that I remembered.
I really forgot. And I dunno if I want to recall.
Argh. I dunno what's with me now.

Wow.

Well, today's the whatever public performance. Not sure and don't care. Met GQ, Cedric, Elaine, Sherye and Zhe Ching for lunch first. Wanted to eat at lot one but dunno where. So went down causeway point and had burger king. Burger King suck. Yeah. Big time. Then finished, walked to Republic Poly, following others. Waste time there then went in auditorium. Watched the performance, played psp, messaged, left. Then slowly walked to causeway point for dinner. Went to pizza hut. LOL. Nothing much to say. Only that Cedric is a crazy kid. This is what he did to his pizza:


I would call this Cheese Pizza because the amount of cheese is pure crazy and I know it looks gross. Anyway, he also added so much pepper into my soup until it literally crystalized. Okay. Done with my post. Bye.

Physics

Well, for starters I know I'm suppossed to be sleeping.
But physics really got the best of me.
For now I am thinking
Waves, amplitudes and frequency.

I don't get all these,
No not at the least bit.
Why are we made to study all these?

Now that my eyes are blurred
My mind is not clear,
And I talk with a slight slur,
I think there's really no point resuming anymore.

Doing all these confuses me.
All the effort and energy
Just go in and out of me.
And they move like so freely.

From electricity to light.
And now we have waves.
I don't get what the teacher had gave.

Her notes are difficult to comprehend,
Her notes are difficult to understand.
I just see them like hierogylphics,
And they see me just like terrorists.

I walk into class everyday, prepared for bombs to be dropped on me.
By the teachers or whoever, just so be it.
But what I'm not prepared for most,
Is the sudden change of preach.

I need time to absorb
I need time to digest.
I don't think we've enough time
Because everything is just plain pressed.

I'm like a time bomb,
Sounding like a alarm clock,
But deep down ready to explode,
Giving everyone a hell out of me.

They say that we have to relax,
But I don't see the time for it.
Not that there isn't a right time for it,
Just that there isn't enough time for this.

I wish to just go to sleep,
But physics just keep reappearing to me.
All the symbols and equations.
Formulas and units,
Just keep appearing when I try to get to sleep.

My blister,

Having nothing to do, i went to cut open my blister. This is what I got. :

See it? There somehow was a cut in the blister and so it was bleeding inside. It turned totally black and i went to cut open it. And yes. There's the blood clot over there. :D nice picture?

I'm back.

Okay people. I'm back. And yeah. Had been busy the past few days/weeks as you can see from the lack of post. And yes. I'm currently with a headache and giddiness and god knows where it came from. Well. Whatever. I give a damn no more. Keeping everything short and simple coz I still got things on my neck that needs to be done. And yeah. Will be posting when I have the time. One more thing. I sort of like the science centre CIP.

I'm back.

Argh.

Okay. Imma get it straight set it straight.
I don't think I have any better platforms to express myself as of now already.
I really am feeling very lost, very confused, in my chamber of thoughts, feelings and I don't know what else.
I don't know how can things escalate or maybe evolve into this stage and I'm seriously questioning.
I think I killed myself. I as in my soul. The happy soul and the cheerful one. The playful one and the cheeky one.
I see myself taking sleeping pills, Valium down the road and I really don't want to get into rehab because of that.
Look. I have outlooks in life but seriously, what do all this really mean? Outlooks in life are totally worthless.
You see people smiling and giving you angelic faces in front of you, and talks bad about you just as you turn away and the devil pops out of them.
This is crazy and right now I'm feeling depressed.
I don't know what went wrong and what state of a mind am I in right now and I don't know which screw came loose.
I don't give a damn about comments now. Yes, not anymore. People can talk rubbish, bullshit, nonsense or what have you right in my face. Yes do it this way but I don't give a god damn fuck.
Say it behind me and you're a despicable piece of rat.
I don't know what's wrong with me actually saying all these things. You may think I'm just trying to get people read my blog and maybe some say I'm trying to act cool but I say fuck you.
I am dead serious and shit. I don't want to type no more.

I dunno

I wonder if I made the right choice this time round.
I wonder if it's good for me to put it all down.
I wonder if this is a good decision made by me.
I wonder if this shit pile of load on my back will be shifted after this.

Maybe it can help me concentrate better.
Maybe it can help me relax better.
Maybe it can help me live life happier.
Maybe it can help me think better.
Maybe it can help me to be more logical.
Maybe it can wake me up to my senses.

From two days ago when I decided.
I was cool and sure that this was what I wanted.
But now thinking back to this matter,
Sometimes I really doubt my choices.

Something in my brain is telling me to.
Something in my heart is telling me not.
I don't know which to follow.
I don't know which is hollow.

I guess I'll just follow my soul.
And leave it all to fate.

3rd

I feels that no one knows me.
Well, maybe just not anyone from my family.
I sort of hate my mum as of now. Period.
Yes. I do dislike her and maybe hate's too strong a word.
I don't see I call myself her son or maybe she calls me her son.
Because I don't think one who don't know his children well should be his parents.
Well both my parents don't know me well and that's for starters.
They don't know my likes, don't know my dislikes.
They know less than half of what I'm doing and they don't bother to find out more.
I don't see why they can be my parents and yes. I know I've two sisters before me but fuck it.
I always get the scoldings no matter what I do.
No one helps me, no one knows what justice.
I feel like this is a broken home.
Not because of any relationship problems, just that I find it hard to communicate within.
Now secondly, these shitheads are getting unreasonable.
Just because I'm raised by them and live off them, I simply got to listen to every single fucking thing they say.
They say I use too much of the desktop but hey I'm trying to work.
They only happen to walk by when I'm chilling and they say I'm gaming.
They don't see things I do and thus think that I didn't do the things they wanted me or thought I should do.
They think that I'm very relaxed, they think I'm easy.
They don't know that I'm often tensed up, nervous, in a shell.
But they do feel they know their son well.
I guess fuck it. In my heart, my parents are dead and what I talk to are just wax figures.

2nd

Looks like I can't finish my chinese by today. I haven't even started and it's like 5pm now already. I'm feeling pretty messed up now and gosh. I've totally no damn bloody mood to write a chinese word. Suddenly I see myself on the verge of giving up already but no. I shall not let myself down already. Not anymore. Xin An. Quick get started and pick yourself up. These words are just that to fuck you up. You gotta move on and perform. No matter what might be going on in your oh so shitty mind.

I'm on the rocks

Alright. Few things happened since I last posted something that is more readable, in other words, about my life. Let's start with hmm. Let's see. Friday. Meet the Parents session first. It was fine for me but knowing my results, it was disastrous. I haven't met the requirements and I guess it's all due to me not really putting in effort. Holidays now is more of a Stay-Home-Self-Study kind of programme to me because I seriously think that 16th in class and 75th in cohort is really not very good for me. For starters, I'm going to aim high now. The higher I aim, I guess, the better results I would get. Of course. Nothing happens if I just sit and wait. For a record, I've started on my revision and stuffs. Now. Let's see. The weekends was quite wasted. Saturday went down to Kinokuniya and bought some books. And yes. No mistakes. I've now decided to pick up reading. B4 in English is seriously, how would I put it? Too low for me. After Kinokuniya, went to M'sia for my grandma's b'dae and stuffs like that. Oh yes. For once, I crashed into a wall and I swear that that is so damn bloody embarrassing. Yes. Went home Sunday evening and reached home around 11pm. If I haven't remembered wrongly, I comp-ed all the way till 1 plus and slept at 2. Monday wasn't very eventful after all. Just another day that would just come and go. Tuesday. Crystal Growing Workshop in the morning. Theory was boring, didn't get the person half the time. Practical was fine and easy. Finished the filtering and went off to Lot One. Walked around because of the time and library wasn't opened yet. Went up to the library at 11+ and all the seats were taken. Sat on the floor near the window and actually planned to do some serious business. Literature, Maths projects and stuff. But everyone was just in their own world and did nothing about the projects. After that went to Food Junction, lunch-ed and went home. Comp-ed, homework-ed and all that usual stuffs I would do. Shit. Now I'm feeling that my giddy spells are back.

Homework checklist

1)English Compo

2) English EW

3) Reading of English Storybook

4)Heymath Benchmark 1

5) Heymath Benchmark 2

6) Maths TB questions

7) Lit project - 2 poems pending approval from group members

8) Physics - Homework not yet uploaded on litespeed

9) Chemistry - Science Research Project

10) Chinese Book Stuff

11) Chinese Newspaper Cutting

12) Chinese Newspaper Report

Guess I'll finish 10, 11 and 12 today:D

I'm hot on my head

Home is making me unwelcomed.
Going home everyday is starting to make me feel dumb.
Although my heart's starting to be numb.
But I really don't like feeling this dung.

I go home everyday and sit on the porch.
I go home everyday and there's no one on the porch.
I go home everyday and there's no one for me to have a good talk.

Even if anyone is home.
It just feels as if.
No one is home because.
We don't really talk.
It's starting to make me feel strange.
It's really becoming a bore.
Even when we talk.
It don't last for long.
Less than 100 lines a day.
I can only find pleasure in my earphones.

I feel like a stranger of my house.
I feel no sense of belonging.
I don't like coming home everyday after school.
After my events.

Come to think about myself.
I think after I've been thinking thru for quite some time.
I've resoluted and I think I'd really thought and reflected a lot already.
Now I'm feeling relaxed because I've decided to stop pursuing some things.
These things looks so uncatchable and so I'll stop and give myself peace.
Ain't revealing what I'm referring to because I just love to see you guess look at the mystery.

Here it comes.

The day is here.
It's here for a good cause.
I'm no longer going to fool.
I'm going to go for the best.
I'm going to work all the way.
Nobody's every going to be stopping me.
I must do my best. I'm in for a change.
Here's the revolution.

Hi world

Okay. See my title.
Greet me back.
I'm feeling a lot happy,
Not a bit sad.


I dunno why, I dunno how.
Yeah. How on Earth I feel.
Feel what I'm actually feeling now.

I think God gave me this gift.
This gift of feeling happy.
Feeling happy of a gift.
Nah I dunno what I'm blabbering.

God made me happy and Imma cherish.
Cherish it and not let anyone take it.
No one's taking it unless I'm giving it.
Giving it to someone I think who needs it.
Who needs it refers to people.
People feeling a little bit upset.
A little bit upset, also known as unhappy.

I lost track of what I was saying.
Saying of what I had and what I want to have.
I'm seriously feeling like so good and kind hearted.
Tell me, tell me.
Ain't I an angel, ain't I a fairy?
God now it tells me I'm actually feeling like flying:D

Blah

I'm seriously damn bloody bored now. I dunno why. Maybe it's quite wrong of a choice to not go for camp even if I'm sick. Damn bored now. Nothing much to do at 1430 of the day, just like any other day. I think I will be calling some random people out to do crazy stuffs dun care if I'm sick. Things are getting unpredictable. The tables have turned. Now having some quiet time by myself, I sit back and think. I consider some people as my closest, but somehow their actions seems to be telling me they're not worth my care afterall. I tried to treat them well but they want to screw me up and over. I never want to hurt no one but they want to step on my toes. Maybe that's their way of treating people well, but well, we never know them too well. Life's a mystery, life's a puzzle, but what can we do? What we can do is to sit back and wait and what we can't do is to live life as if we are all oh so paranoid. I'm going out later to play basketball. Provided my friend is free. Well, I just can't keep my ass at home coz it's such a bore. Okay. I'm starting to feel giddy already like again. Damn it. Will this stop? It's as if I took valium, xanax or ganja. Someone out there help me. Thank you.

bad day. maybe a bit good.

Today woke up in the morning, headache + giddy. Scraped thru breakfast then went to school for interhouse games liao. Play basketball and was real giddy. The post and all seemed like spinning to me. 1st match made it. Second one against 2A was feeling real bad enough already. Then lost. Thank you team mates for your support and co-operation. Thank you for your effort. We all tried. Thank you classmates for all your cheers and encouragement. But sorry we didn't made it thru. Well, then after that went back classroom to slack and the giddy feeling started to subside. After that went to the hall for maths paper. Well, when walking starting to feel giddy again. Then got bad maths paper, rectified some calculation errors with the teacher and done, went back to class. Mrs Lim came in not long after and stood to greet her. When sitting down, I suddenly froze there, completely blank, cannot make a sound, cannot hear a thing, and all I see was my table spinning there like the rims of a racing car. Got back Lit results and went home, I pratically staggered my way home when I walked from my house here the bus stop to home. Then quickly got bathed and change and cabbed down to CCK polyclinic to see doctor with my sis, coz she needs mc too. Then I got diagnosed with some infection thing in the ear, thus keep having this dizziness. Bus-ed down to The Heeren, got my Eminem album, Relapse, then went to Ngee Ann City with my sis walk walk bought books and then went to KFC eat. Yes I know that's bloody unhealthy. But nothing affordable to eat there alr. Then walk walk a while again, bus-ed to Lot One back then MRT home. Still feeling slightly giddy. Chatted a while online then now here blogging. I got MC no need go camp. YAY!

-.-

Yesterday was bloody fine for me. Today's results totally screwed me over. Ah. Mrs Lim absent. Lit still unknown. Ms Zizi also absent, only know part 2 results. Wow. That was sort of unexpected to me. I didn't actually thought I could go pass 30. Well. Chinese. Basically screwed up both my languages. But hey. I didn't actually thought I could get that high for Paper 2 (chinese). And I got 8th? LOL. I considering the number of ties, I think I should've been 9th or even 10th. English. Well. That's hell. Totally messed up kay. B4 ain't good and getting like 26th in class is totally hopeless for me alr. Science. Well. Lots of carelessness due to my nervous and being tensed up so much then. Still, didn;t expect my results, thought it gotta be lower. Basically, physics was hell. From A2 to C5 to A2. Phew. Chem was laced with traps which I fell into. Flunk it at 35/60. Science got a pathetic 65. B3-.- Geog, didn't really study, so I think the results was not really bad, considering that the people who I knew really studied had only a few marks higher than me. Well. Guess Imma pick myself up and start working towards the End Of Years. Good luck comrades.

:D

Angels and Demons
Religion and Science
Christianity and Physics
Illuminati and Vatican
Swiss Guard and Vatican Police
Good and Evil
Right and Wrong
Facts and Myths
Yesterday and Today
Truth and Deceptions
Conciousness and Confusion
The Cheated and The Cheater
The Young and The Old
The Opened and The Narrow Minded
The Correct and The Misconception
The Misled and The Leader
The Leader and The Follower
The Academic and The Believers

:D

-.-

something's bothering me. nevermind, hope it all turns out well.

another one. also for fun. dun question. just bored.

I feel the world is just too fast for me.
Too fast for me to even try to go grab it.
It felt like only yesterday,
When I was starting to learn talking.

The papers recently pretty much screwed me over.
But I know I don't have anything to put the blame on,
Coz it was me who chose to keep the desktop on.
I chose to not study and slacked my ass.
And now I feel my results is going to be kick ass.

Let's skip that and get back to the non academics.
Coz maybe sometimes I really feel sick of it.
I don't want to go to school.
I really don't want to feel like a goondo.
But what have I to do?
But sit in and complain here.

I just can't figure the system out.
Because it's just so confusing.
Half the syllabus is not gon' be used.
By me in my future life at least.
And yes I know I'm a rebel but what made me this?

I'm sorry for always side tracking,
But it was really a huge bother to me.
I needed someone to talk to,
But nowadays people all seem so busy.

I try to keep myself busy sometimes,
So at least I will just stop thinking of stuffs.
But somehow I never am busy.
Because maybe I do things too fast.

But what the hell is wrong with it?
If I don't go fast I might slip.
But when I'm free and dun wanna do anything,
I will be like now doing this stupid thinking.

I tried to stop myself from posting all these.
But I'm sorry the impulse caught me.
I know my previous post few weeks back said I will no longer be doing these.
But I just can't stop myself from practising.

God please send someone to help me.
Maybe a psychiatrist of something.
Because I feel real tired in me.
I feel real messed up with me.
I feel that my ass is really bouncing of the walls within.

And to all you guys out there,
I am really grateful you will read till this.
Thank You.

some emo post. for fun.

Hmm. Hmm.
Now I'm in this stupid mood again.
And long time I expressed it here since.
About two months or something.

I watch the rain pour down.
I felt my heart fell down.
I was really tensed, I was really down.
I never wanted to believe but now it was my mistake.

As I listen to the songs.
As I watch my screen.
I couldn't help but think.
I couldn't help but ponder.
I really wish I could fall asleep earlier in the nights.

Nights been long for me.
Nights been stupid for me.
Nights been messed up for me.
Maybe because I just can't fall asleep.

For some reason I guess.
Because they just keep reappearing.
I want to stop.
But it just won't listen to me.

I watch people around me laugh.
And I felt I was the joke.
Maybe I was paranoid.
Maybe I thought too much.

I tried to avoid any eye contact,
In case it opens any conversation like I want that.
I'm sorry Eminem, that was referenced from you.

I watched the cars outside my window as they zoomed passed me.
I couldn't help but think how much behind I'm in.
The world is moving on so fast,
And I dun think I can catch up, oh my arse.

I dunno what goes on in my mind sometimes,
It's just such a mystery,
Such a gift.
Gift from Satan to torture me.
To lead me into my misery.

I tried to pull myself back,
I tried to not lift a fist.
But you just wouldn't leave me alone and continue stepping on my feet.
I'm really sorry but I've to do that in case anybody would want to give me a kick.

When I start relaxing and start getting laid back,
The sound of the speed around the world never failed to get me.
This world just never sleeps and but I need a rest.
Honestly I'm sick of this, tired of this and gonna die of this.

Noises around me seems to irritate me.
But I somehow like to make noise to irritate people.
I wish I could stop.
But I myself couldn't even control myself.
What am I gon' do?
Someone please guide me thru.
I do never want to offend anyone,
But I find people having beefs with me.
I'm sorry for this but you still want to pounce on me.

What the fuck.
What sort of life is this?

-.-

physics killed me. one more paper left. Comrades. Let's do well tomorrow. The final battle for this mid year. :D I'm bored.

-.-

I'm officially sick of physics. T.T

Hello

:D hey people. 2 more paper to go:D no hiatus from me:D

HAHA

LITERATURE IS OVER!! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D now left 4. haha. :D so happy now:D

Maybe the last.

hmm. i want to be a non-human. A mutant. lalalalalala. I've decided to not be a human. Bye earth.

3AM - Eminem Offcial MV

Hello.

Hello. Things have changed but somethings remains the same. Nevermind. I don't think anyone would get it also.

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Damn it. Today somehow very high. As though i took some ecstacy. Yes. I'm still high now. bleah. I mean. I'm bored.:D

:D

Wow. So fast. English mid years is finished and coming up next friday would be lit, and soon, next next friday, maths will come up and they will be post exam activities. Time flies doesn't it? Soon it will be year end and come next year everyone will be on their own lives. I want to cherish this moment now and i seriously would not want any beefs with anyone in the class at anytime from now, you know. I finally realised what's friendship and what's ties. But but but I really dun want to fight for now. I'm trying hard as I can to press it down. Unless you want to lift it up then I take no step back.

15May planning watch movie after last paper. Who want go? Movie will be decided then. Oh yeah. Dun jio me out so often. I broke liao and also, I want buy relapse on 19May one.

Wa lao. June holidays so packed. But i know many of you got worse schedules. Crystal growing and science centre are confirmed. LOTS of homework and projects are anticipated. LOTS of revision is predicted due to my foreseen mid years results. LOTS of reflection may be done.
Hmm. What about entertainment now? Listen to Relapse 24/7? I seriously dunno dunno dunno. I swear i dunno.

And this is to all those out there who keeps saying that I am gay.
Fuck you all. I seriously am pissed now. *Refer to on top again*. You get me? If you think you can do better, you do it. If you think you're more man, show me. If you think you're not a gay, prove it. Fuck you all pussies who call me sissy.

:D

for now. due to time constraints, entertain yourself with this first. okay. imagine madonna is here. singing. lalalallalalallalalalal alallalalallalalala llalalalalalalalla. bored? okay. now imagine eminem is here rapping. rah rah rah rah rah rah rah rah rah rah rah rah rah still bored? go and masturbate. bye:D

zzz

I'm bored. People. Stop pissing me off. :D Oh ya. The pathetic grouchy nerdy jie wei got owned. :D

:D

This is my favourite. WAHAHAHAHAHAHA

RAH!

Okay. So I'm like so bored now la. Damn it. Damn sian. Stupid camp. Stupidly boring. Retarded science. Makes me retarded.
FAM WEIIXEN AND MARCUS PHUA. I dunno if you'll be seeing this. But you're both damn it guai lan. You're super lame ass clowns! DAMN YOU! RAH! LOLOLOLOLOL.
I dunno why I'm doing this. Maybe coz I'm bored. HOW HOW HOW?! SOMEONE ENTERTAIN ME PLEASE. :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Oh yes. I wanted to blog ytd one. But stupid blogspot said server down so I bo pian today then blog. But somehow I forgot what I wanted to blog yesterday and so too bad lor. Blame blogspot. :P

blah blah blah blah:D:D:D:D

Wow. I just realised the stupid peace is such a bother. I think Imma initiate war against M'sia, conquer it and then get CIP. See. Citizen initiated CIP. SERVICE TO THE NATION. YES. IF THERE'S A WAR, I WILL BE THE FIRST TO RUN THE FRONTLINE. :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Okay, enough of crap. You know I love peace, I support the United Nations. :D:D:D:D:D:D

Ah crap. I gon' miss a shit load of lessons( core subjects) due to NCC camp and my mid years is like less than 2 weeks away I guess? WHO CAN TUTOR ME?! Allah, Jesus, Buddha and God. Help me:D:D:D:D:D:D:D I so good and kind and innocent and pure and so lovely. Certainly you'll help me tide thru my crisis now won't you? Aww, don't say no please I'm begging you. I haven't started revising and I'm full of crap AND I KNOW. I feel tired now and then la. Please please please. Allah, Jesus, Buddha and God. Please give me unlimited supply of energy like as if my blood is Red Bull. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. I swear I will worship you all with ROASTED PORK if you help me. And yes. I know you guys love them. They taste nice don't they? :D:D:D

Eminem - We Made You [Official Music Video] @ Yahoo!7 Video

-.-

My gosh. PLEASE. BLOGSKIN.COM so difficult find boyish blog skin. like all for girls sia. how how how?

WOW.

Bow-wow. Now I'm starting to see. But wait. Was I that bad last time? I changed my URL and blogskin and blog content then people start tagging. -.- I didn't expect myself to be so bad last time. Or am I?? RAH!!!! Okay. I'm damn bored. Who can entertain me?? Please msn/sms me. :D:D

No. 156

Hmm.. So I'm like thinking. Wow. What had I been doing in the past. I was like wasting my stuff on all those kind of things. I'm now starting a fresh. But those post will still remain there. I'm sorry but I'm plain lazy to take them all out. You gotta know. Yes. I no longer want to fuck the planet or whatever. So. Very sorry. You see, people. I'm trying hard here to stay happy. Don't come and piss me off again. Please. Thank you. This new skin looks better right? As in happier. If it does, then happier = better = thanks from me to you. I certainly hope more people will come over here and leave a tag or so because my previous one was totally screwed up and the number of people coming was totally disappointing to me. I promise. If more people come and proof by tagging, I will post as much as I can, of course, provided I have the time. Thank you very much.

zzz

Sometimes I'm really random.
Sometimes I feel really sick.
Like now.
Rah.
Sometimes time seems to crawl,
But when I'm happy, it just goes off in a blink of an eye.):

Potatoes are thrown away

Damn this ass,
I feel so bad.
I wanted to update,
But I just can't make.
Yeah. Make some crazy shit that some dude did.
Like how some niggers got their ass kicked.

I see how some people are deserted rotting away.
Like how some rotten potatoes are thrown away.
God damn it.
I'm bored.

I just wanted to update.
But I got bloody mental block now.
I'm sorry.
Good bye

I'm back.

Hello everybody
Coz I'm back here talking crap.
Oh wait a minute
It's not crap that I talk
Coz I talk some serious facts.

I just feel like venting everything out now.
But I just dun really want to hurt no one.
Everytime I close my eyes, my mind starts to think.
Like as if it's in automatic mode or something.
Fuck this automatic shit.
Just get me a semi-automatic shit.

I dun wanna think about all this stuffs that I always think.
For now I guess.
I dun wanna go around with stupid smile or laugh on my face
And all this seems so ingenuine.
I dun wanna start to hurt people when they really cross the line.
But seriously, I have no choice.

Give me a loaded Desert Eagle as my birthday gift.
And maybe my gift for myself would be something crazy.
A shot in the head, the neck or something.
All this is the only solution to my problems I think.

What I can only do now, all that I can rely on
I guess is but hatred and Satan's help.
Maybe hatred my make my days shorter.
And Satan would take my demons away,
Maybe along with me, coz I'm sick of living.

heck.

I now feel so cheated and just as duped.
I was right serious when I actually first asked you.
I was told one but now I know,
Your meaning deep down inside is but a two.

I bloody hate people who tell their lies,
Just to assure people their alright.
And you actually toyed my mind,
And now you're seeing me right there down and out.

When you wanna bloody lie to me next time,
I'm just simply asking you to take a pistol,
Load it, cock it and blast it through my brain.

I'm sick of this. Kill me. Mothafuckas.

I sit in front of my 22 inch.
Thinking of something that's suitable to type in.
Not too out, not too in.
Not too much of upset also not too happy a thing.

I try to keep everything within me,
But it seems that I can explode any minute.
I'm thinking of crushing myself,
But I want a gun.

I wanna put a bullet through my brain.
I wanna put my life to an end.
I wanna put up a notice.
I wanna put things to a stop.

I'm sick of my life.
Suicidal lines are so nice to me now.
Say that I'm feigning emo.
But frankly, I'm sick of that smiley face mask of mine.

I wanna stop joking.
I wanna show people how serious I can be.
I wanna let the whole world know that.
I wanna put an end to this.


P/S: I'm serious about this.

...

I think I will just keep them all bottled up.
I dun see the point of revealing anymore.
No more revelation from me.

number 148

I think I'm bleeding in the brain.
Coz it seems that my thoughts are all drained.
I really don't know if I should say,
But whenever I want to let it out,
Something's holding me up.

If only I had a little more courage,
If only I had a little more guts.
If only I had a little more effort,
If only I had a little more luck.

I totally hate this period of my life.
It's a total pain.
I know I'm the envy of many busy people.
But I'm totally sick of my monotony.

Will someone out there please help me?
What should I do next?
I know it clear that less than 10 people will be reading this,
But all I need is an answer.
Should I?
Or should I not?

Random

As I sit by the road and watch the cars,
They zoom pass me quick and fast.
Is it me or the world?
Because I just can't seem to catch up with time.

All I could do now is just sit and wait.
I'm seriously lost in this ever fast moving urban life.
All I wanted was to be moving as fast.
But I'm just seriously tired to move on now.

I make it a point to hang in there.
But my arms seem insecure.
I'm hanging on a cliff now,
And all I need is someone's helping hand.

:D

Okay. as long as that post? and not emo? fine.

I'm a happy man:D
I'm a happy man:D
I'm a happy man:D
I'm a happy man:D
I'm a happy man:D
I'm a happy man:D
I'm a happy man:D
I'm a happy man:D
I'm a happy man:D
I'm a happy man:D
I'm a happy man:D
I'm a happy man:D
I'm a happy man:D
I'm a happy man:D
I'm a happy man:D
I'm a happy man:D
I'm a happy man:D
I'm a happy man:D
I'm a happy man:D
I'm a happy man:D
I'm a happy man:D
I'm a happy man:D
I'm a happy man:D
I'm a happy man:D
I'm a happy man:D

Happy?

Not happy?

Nevermind.

I'm a very happy man:D
I'm a very happy man:D
I'm a very happy man:D
I'm a very happy man:D
I'm a very happy man:D
I'm a very happy man:D
I'm a very happy man:D
I'm a very happy man:D
I'm a very happy man:D
I'm a very happy man:D
I'm a very happy man:D
I'm a very happy man:D
I'm a very happy man:D
I'm a very happy man:D
I'm a very happy man:D
I'm a very happy man:D
I'm a very happy man:D
I'm a very happy man:D
I'm a very happy man:D
I'm a very happy man:D
I'm a very happy man:D
I'm a very happy man:D
I'm a very happy man:D
I'm a very happy man:D
I'm a very happy man:D
I'm a very happy man:D
I'm a very happy man:D
I'm a very happy man:D
I'm a very happy man:D
I'm a very happy man:D
I'm a very happy man:D

Still not happy?

Okay.

More words are coming up.

I'm a very super happy man:D
I'm a very super happy man:D
I'm a very super happy man:D
I'm a very super happy man:D
I'm a very super happy man:D
I'm a very super happy man:D
I'm a very super happy man:D
I'm a very super happy man:D
I'm a very super happy man:D
I'm a very super happy man:D
I'm a very super happy man:D
I'm a very super happy man:D
I'm a very super happy man:D
I'm a very super happy man:D
I'm a very super happy man:D
I'm a very super happy man:D
I'm a very super happy man:D
I'm a very super happy man:D
I'm a very super happy man:D
I'm a very super happy man:D
I'm a very super happy man:D
I'm a very super happy man:D
I'm a very super happy man:D
I'm a very super happy man:D
I'm a very super happy man:D

Long enough?

****

I'm fucking sick of constant dissing already
Fuck off.

Something's Wrong

So just what's wrong with me?
What's my condition of my body?
I've never really understand it,
But it just seems so creepy.

I dunno why I'm on this page,
Maybe my montony's eating me up.
I dun wanna blog.
And I'm really not interested in it.
But someway somehow,
I'm here typing the fuck outta me.

If I ever get something better to do.
I think I will quit this once and for good.
I'm running out of words.
And it's getting me crazy.
Ah fuck it.
The end is here.

It's mixed

I dun understand my class well.
Or maybe it's they who dun understand me well.
Hollering about crap people wouldn't want to hear.
Hollering about crap that'll make people so ill.

It's just revolting when you see things as it really is.
The used to have sound of joy and laughter.
Are all seemingly going down the killer.

Why have everyone went there own ways?
Where are the used to have unity?
What is there seperating us from each other?
How can we actually end up like this?

The usual good friends who walked around together,
Now we just do nothing with each other,
Except for maybe dissing each other.

I don't ever think anyone wanted it this way.
I don't ever think anyone did wish for this.
I don't ever think anyone tried to made it this way.
I don't ever think anyone caused all the diss.

Maybe it's just us,
Because we don't click as usual.
And we don't even bother.
But seriously, it's killing me.

I don't wanna give the fuck up.
I don't wanna give the fuck in.
I may someday just throw everything up.
But I don't anyone cares because it's just none of other's business.

fucked up

Why does it seems that things I do the right way,
Seems to me that it always end up on the wrong track?
It gives me such a bad impression that I never wanna do the same again.

They say that if there's a test you should've studied for it.
But fuck it. I swear I did study for my maths test.
And what happened in the end?
The paper was fucked up and killed my confidence.

1+1 is supposed to be 2 right?
But it just seems like.
When I write 2,
The right answer would be 3.

I can't blame anyone and that's what I know.
Maybe I only have myself to blame.
Somethings I dun really know
But I just dun wanna let go.







Okay. I swear I need a retest for maths and DnT. It's totally crap.
Damn. Why is it like this? Issit really the Murphy's law theory?
What can go wrong will go wrong?

hello

okay. i dun have anything to say. post. okay. i posted.

Sigh

Sometimes I just keep thinking.
Sometimes I just can't stop thinking.
I need someone's great enlightening.
Please get me out of my dwelling and I'll be saying words of thanks.

I sometimes really do feel like giving up.
But I sometimes don't know why I should keep up.
I'm seriously in need of someone's help.
To get me started on this big deal.

God damn it.
I feel like I'm hanging on the cliff.
My hands get tired and wants to release.
Please someone get over and help me.
To whack my hands with a rock,
Or at least give me a pull to get me back.

Sigh

Should I just give it up?

I dunno

Been busy and all for the past few days.
Having mental blocks for the past few weeks.
So sorry for the lack of post for the past few days.

Didn't have the inspiration to come up with a rhyme or two,
So i'm just gon' get down to some point of a low grade shit.
Or maybe something like it.

Just been thinking recently.
So much so for the distractions.
I'll need some help to get me to focus so things that need my attention will certainly be there with the biggest attraction.

I would give you the attitude that I've hidden,
If you ever get me bitten.
I will kick your ass.
If you ever come and get mine kicked.

People. Don't fuck with me.
And I will certainly leave you alone.

Oh hello?

Fuck. This shit is boring.
How can i ever stop my boredom.
As in stop let my self get more freedom.

Heck. I'm like a eagle kept in a room.
I waiting for the door to open.
So I can then finally fly on the random.

For once I feel so tied down.
I feel tired and tries to back down.
But I know I've to perservere and not duck down.

Number 136

He sees the chance and he's not letting up.
He'll never ever again let the chance run.
He needs strength, support and luck.
To capture everything that's useful for him in the long run.

But God knows if he can do it.
For any mistake is gon' be costly.
He got no room for that shit.
If he wants to survive this.

He gon' push all the way.
And try to do what's best.
Never giving up nor reversing.
And that's the spirit living in him.

Oh hello.

Sup people. This gon' be my 135th post.
It's been thru coldhater.bs/ in-hot-water.bs/ drink-whiskey.bs.
And now. it's the same damn fuck the planet.

God damn it. I'm suddenly feeling so high.
Most importantly, I dun even know why.

Someone help me please.
Help me from my state.
Before I start dancing.
Yeah. Dancing out in the streets.

I feel as though I just took two dose of ecstacy.
And I'm high like fuck.
I just feel like screaming my head and whack some butt.

God damn. For those who wants to help but can't.
Sorry but thanks.
For you know that I'm just kidding!

WAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Damn. I gon' kill you.

God damn it. This is just simply fucked up.
Why am I always placed in front?
Like what the fuck.

Am I that bloody short?
Can you explain why?
Why do people shorter than me,
GET TO SIT BEHIND ME AND I'M ALWAYS STUCK IN FRONT?!

FUCK THIS ARRANGEMENT!
I'M BLOODY UNHAPPY!
I DUN EVEN CARE IF THIS WORDS DO RHYME ANYMORE
COZ IN MY HEART, ALL I KNOW IS THAT.
I HATE YOU.

GOD DAMN IT. I'M SO PISSED THAT I DUNNO
I DUNNO WHAT TO SAY. BUT THSI NARROWED MY VOCABULARY
DOWN TO TWO WORDS. AND THAT IS
FUCK YOU!

I just don't understand.

Why have things gotten to what it is now?
Why didn't you stop when I told you to.
Why did you just keep carrying on?
And maybe that's because you want to see me pissed off.

From now one, I have resoluted.
I will never give a fuck no more.
To whatever shit you have to blabber about.
Getting angry will only harm my own body.
I rather treat you as some one.
Non existent, and live my own life.

But. I never want things to turn out this way.
We look into the face no more,
And I'll just play Satan in your activities.
All we can see in each other is hate,
And I really hate it this way.

I know you not gon' see it,
But this is just my venting.
No matter what, I will not give in.

Since I've set out this demonic path,
I will never want to give up.
You want me to apologise,
You can wait for your life.

I'm not gonna let this rest easy
Like I used to just let go previously.
Don't you worry. I swear.
You gonna see the worst of me.

ARGH!

I never want to be this way,
But the people keep getting in my way.
I may turn into Satan someday,
When-this is what we can't say.

I act like I've no problem in life,
But my pressure keeps piling,
The teachers' expectations keep rising.

I can't keep my head straight or right,
And I can no more differentiate between right or wrong.
I want to move on,
But there're bound to be obstacles.
I try to get them away,
But they just don't budge but stay.

Sometimes I just wondered what the fuck is wrong with me.
Don't worry it'll get over someday.
I try to look at my front,
But the sides are my distractions.

I know I can't stay.
I know I can't remain the same.
But I certainly need time to advance.
I promise that when I see a chance,
Imma grab it and not let down.

Yeah. I'm not gonna let myself down.

God damn it.

The bomb has went off.
My temper is on and off.
I can't predict what I'm capable of.

Everything seems so fucked up.
Everything seems to be going against me.
Or issit me going against the flow?

Iono. But I know a thing or so.
That I've blown and can't put up with the nonsense no more.

Fuck it. Why am I hollering about all this shit here,
In this fucked up mood that I have.
On this earth I hardly find any peace,
All I hear is nonsense.

So people like fucking me up and think it's fun.
Fuck you cats. Fuck with me one more time.
And Imma take your bloody life.
I swear I'm not letting things rest as easy
As I used to handle stuffs in the past.

random-ness

Sometimes I feel like shit.
Sometimes I act like dick.
This very moment, I think.
Everyone's like that ain't it?

But I think again.
Why can everyone else seem to be happy
For 24/7
But for me, I fuck up every now and then.

No one knows what'll happen the next minute,
Let alone the next day.
I try to live every other day.
With my head lifted and walk with my back straight.

For now I would like to quote.
Coz I think the following quote is too meaningful.
'I will not fall
I will stand tall
Feels like no one can beat me'
Source: Till I Collapse - Eminem.

Random

Very soon I'm bout to blow.
Soon in the future is what that'll show.

I might seem like a nobody,
I may seem like a gay.
But once I blow, I can't phantom how'll it be.

I try hard to conceal.
Try hard to hide.
But no matter how hard i try,
My efforts a futile.

I try to be what I really am,
But it's never seem to work.
For I'm always putting on a mask,
To hide the sore in me.

You guys may be at advantage,
But Imma change that to disadvantage.
I'm be a demon if I like.
Be a angel is I feel like.

Because I just don't care what you like.

???

Sometimes I feel like a lunatic,
Doing things kinds of crazy shit.
I feel weak deep down there,
But still wants to hang on there.

I'm letting this remind myself
That no matter how bad I fall,
It ain't gonna matter for I'm not gonna moan.

If I ever give up,
There would be only 2 chances.
One is when I'm lying in my deathbed,
Two is when I'm lying on my bed.

Tireless I may seem to be,
Tired is the feeling inside me.
I gather all the energy I have, and do what's best for me.

No matter the outcome,
I ain't gonna be,
Happy angry or whatever you name it.

I'll listen to my body.
And fall back when it tells me.

Oh

Btw, i did that for some venting of anger.

Damn it.

As the rain pounded,
My thoughts bewildered.
Why is it like this,
What happened to that?

I went into the shower,
Wet myself with some water,
Thinking that I may think better.
But it didn't work,
Just making me more tired.

I heard the birds chirping, the sound of joy.
I heard the music playing, the sound of sadness.
What really lies beneath me,
I guess it's not nice to unleash.

See, I wanted to be a joyous person,
But situation became worse.
I had to do things I hate,
I turned into Satan.

Karma is declining,
And I know a catastrophe for me's coming.
I'm prepared for the worse,
Even if it means dying.

Only will death bring me down that's what I said.
So I think i will not let other things to make me collapse.
I'm not a weakling and I will not want to swear.
So I'm trying hard as I could to make do without those words.

God. Let me know if I'm dying as I would want to thank.
Locate all those who made my life worth living,
And say a word of thanks.

Oh by the way,

I JUST DON'T GIVE A FUCK

Fuck it. I'm back.

Okay people. I'm back blogging. Life's fucking boring for me. School's fucked up as usual. Fucked up teachers with their shit ass faces. Damn. So you think my handwritting messy huh? Wants me to copy reader's digest huh? Come on man. Wake up. What the fuck is wrong with you? I dare you to go out on the streets and do a survey if my handwritting's untidy. Fuck. Bitch. My homies understand my handwritting. Everyone does. It's the problem in your eyes. You hoe. I'm fucked up and pissed off. Yeah. So? Even if some people reads this and whatever shit I'm in trouble. I don't give a god damn fuck yo. My handwritting not hieroglyphic, it's the problem in you. I know my subliminal thoughts sometimes can be sporadic and whatsoever, getting people pissed with me. But hey. WHO ON EARTH GIVES A GOD DAMN FUCK ABOUT IT?! TELL ME! FUCK YOU! TELL ME! I dunno why I'm doing this also, wasting my god damn time, blabbering all this shit out of me, yeah. I have an attitude problem. But so what. Come get me. I dun care. Fuck it. I'm outta here.

another post.

okay. this a new post. so. i updated! :D

Going off.

Guys. I'll not be updating forthe next 8 days+ coz I will be overseas. I'll update ASAP when I return to Singapore. Please leave your tags down so I'll be motivated to update. Thanks:D

I'm sadistic. So?!

He did not want the dead body to rest in peace. Before leaving it, he did something to it.

He opened up the eyes. Slowly, he hammered 3 9inch nails into each eyes. Good thing the person died. The murderer is not that bad afterall. He then used a hook and went thru the skin on the forehead, and skinned that part of the head. He opened the skull and leaving the brains inside, he smashed it and turned it into jelly.

He opened up the body. He poked holes in his stomach that ranged from 3mm in diameter to 21cm in diameter. He then slowly cut the heart open and sliced it. He threw the sliced heart into the stomach and leaving the body and surroundings in still a bloody state. He pinned the penis to the his groin and stuck the testicles to the nails that were hammered into the eyeballs.

He cut of every finger and toe off putting them in the mouth. He stuffed two of the front teeth into the nostrils. He then walked of calmly and as though nothing happened.

PhotoFunia!!!!!!!!!!!

I dunno about this..


I'm a CRIMINAL!




Benjamin Franklin is out!
Kwa Xin An is the new face! :D


I UPDATED!

Another random post.

Alice was lying in bed, alone at home, in subconciousness. She was going to fall asleep when just at the strike of 12, she felt that she was being watched. She tried hard not to be bothered by the feeling but it was too strong. She could not fall asleep and she tried to close. A force seems to be pushing her eyes wide open and she gave up.

She sat up in bed for a moment. She then went to the toilet. She splashed the icy cold water on her face for a couple of times, movng out to the kitchen, closing the window and locking it up. As she was returning to her room, she heard footsteps. She was very sure that those footsteps was not from her. She was freaked out. Then she heard a thud.

She turned around and saw a huge figure. She couldn't see clearly due to the black out an everything was pitch black. The figure then started to push Alice to her room. She resisted and tried to run. She quickly ran with a might around the house and ended up in the garage.

The figure was following her. And soon, the figure caught up with her. He started to move towards Alice, step by step, breathe by breathe. Alice retreated according to the footsteps of the figure. She was cornered. She was trapped and behind her was her station wagon.

She stopped and closed her eyes. She felt the hand of the figure running over her body. Her clothes were ripped off and she let off screams from her chest. She tried to fight off the figure but he was too strong for her. Then the station wagon was forced open and Alice was raped in it. She soon lost conciousness and was then drove, still in the station wagon, to the nearby lake.

The mysterious person, also known as the figure had his mask on and he, being so strong, pushed the wagon, with Alice in it, into the lake and watched it sank. He then walked off slowly, back to the garage and burnt down Alice's house.

The truth never came to light and no one ever know about this mysterious guy. Alice's case remained a mystery and only the person knows that he done it.

This is random.

The boys went underground, through a drain, hoping to find more clues on the main cause of the dead turning into zombies. They landed with a thud and green radio active waste started to drip from the pipes above them. Carefully, they collected the waste and brought it back to lab.

As they reached the lab, they tested it on a rat. They killed it and released the the waste into the enclosed cage.

'What the fuck are you trying to do?!' Dr. Pulma, a professor at the school sreamed. They droped the waste in fear. Suddenly, the rat leaped up. The rat leaped on Dr. Pulma. 'Fuck!' Screamed Kyle. Dr. Pulma soon fainted and he was infected. The boys prepared their weapons and also killed the rat. For once, they thought that they were safe.

Dr. Pulma came to a sudden wake and grabbed the unsuspecting Jimmy on the neck, bit him on the eyes and the other 3 just freaked out. they quickly ran off and tried to open the only door. The door was locked by them as they wanted the experiment to be confidential. They lost the key and the only way to get out, was to destroy the knob. They did that and millions of zombies stood in front of dead.

They were totally surrounded and they just stood and waited to get killed and become one of them.

Nice movie!

I finished 8 Mile. 2002 movie. Starring Eminem and D-12(i think). Anyway, it's a god damn fucking bloody nice movie. Freestyle raps are cool. Rap battles are also very cool.

I have nothing else to say. I know this is a fucking short post. Very sorry. SHall update more next time. Provided there are some fucking things which is worthy enough to update about.

I hate sleepless nights.

Yesterday was one sleepless night for me. I had a headache around 10. Wanting to go to sleep, but I just can't. I dunno if it's insomnia. Anyway. I had a hard time. I sat on the bed, no one to talk to. Tried putting myself to sleep, but as I close my eyes, I just begin thinking. I dunno why. Then I wanted to do some holiday assignment. But my brain didn't work. I went WTF is wrong with me? I couldn't online for that my parents will know and I will get a scolding from them due to the fact that I onlined in the day for god knows how many hours. I wandered around like a zombie with no aim in mind, it's purely fucked up.. So I began taking out my foolscap and came out with the 15 statements from XinAn.

1) Studying is just to waste time.

2)Going to classes is a waste of energy.

3) Schools are a waste or resources.

4) Teachers are redundant.

5)Calculators are a waste of electricity.

6) Algebra can be sent to the Institute of Mental Health.

7)Chinese is nonsense.

8)The heat during practical Home Econs lessons is the cause of global warming.

9)Literature is the main course of death among dead students.

10) Geography should be studied by aliens.

11)Physics formulae are crap.

12) Bio is for the dead.

13) Reading materials and exam papers is a waste of trees.

14) Money is the key essential to survive.

15) Gaming is essential to good brains and high IQ levels.

Also, I came up with a question. If you people have an answer to it please leave a tag.

What are 'Slow Down' Road signs for when vehicles at high speed are just going to zoom past without even noticing the sign?

SHUT THAT BLOODY FUCKING HELLISH SICK MOUTH

OF YOURS YOU MOTHER FUCKING
BLOODY HELL SON OF A BITCH!

I did that for fun

SHUT THE FUCK UP! I dunno what's wrong with me. Far too many things happened over the last few weeks. I need time to quiet down, get some peace and maybe, even some rest. Because of this, I am getting real bored. HAHA. Bought a PSP. Sorry. I laughed only for a second. Anyway, I dunno what the on earth happened to me. See the time? 5+ in the morning. YES! 5 am. Rub your eyes look at it again. I woke up today. around 5 and thought that there was school today when it was a holiday in fact. After slacking in bed for a moment, i then realise that my holidays had started. Ah. God damn it. This is fucking me up. I have no wish to continue already.

Shitty week.

Crap. I dun even know what I feel inside. Nevermind. Just know that this week, post exam week, seriously is hell for me. I am bored to tears. Ah. Yesterday went to Vivocity in the morning with the school for some shit ass crap fucking NE trail shit that wasted fucking lots of time. Damn it. I should've ponned school that day. Nevermind. What's done cannot be undone. I'm sick of tired of this life I'm leading. This fucked up world had me gone poped. I am outta here.

God Damn It.

I dunno why i am posting now, in this fucked up mood. This EOY is fucking me up. I judt dun get it. What's this Singapore government policy all about? Studying things like geog and bio which we will not need when we grow up and go into the new stages of our lives. I dunno why we waste so much time and energy on these god damn so fucking difficult to study topics. it's not as if i am growing up to be a geologists doctor whatsoever. I have seriously 0 interest in these fucked up topics. sometimes i really dun feel like going to school. So many fucked up faces i see in school. Teachers students. whatever. Anyway, EOY ended. This fucking shit. Wasted my time, although i didn't study much, time wasted when i studied accumulated to more than 24 hours which is more than day. Nevermind forget about science. forget about chinese. forget about geography. i dunno why i am made to study these subjects i have no interest over. i seriously MOE changes policy. Ah crap. Why am i digressing? Ah shit. I shall stop diss-ing the Singapore MOE.

Anyway. I had a fucked up day today. That bloody hell science paper. i screwed up. I seriously dunno why, but i think the whole class screwed up. Ah. Physics. no wish to talk about it. seriously. i just feel like screaming, but can't. I would be causing a nuisance.

After the paper, played some soccer. Match over and when home. When i got online i chatted with people and i started to smash my keyboard as a form of stress relief. I dunno why. I always feel better after listening to eminem's song and also sometimes singing them out loud. Ah. I am at a serious loss of words. Fucked up. Hear my silent screams. Anyway, got to go. Try to get more ppl to my blog please. i thank you. Coz if no one gonna come, i would have no mood to update.


p/s sorry for all the vulgarities in this fucked up post.

-----------------------

I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm.vI dun know, I can't confirm.I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm. I dun know, I can't confirm.

Just being random.

A bit tired. But shiok.

LOL. Today was er... Dunno how to say. I slept at 1am last night, and woke up 5.30am today. Then go school. Sian la. At school boring like dunno what. Rain rain rain. Cannot play street soccer. No street soccer= more tiredness. I dunno why. But I have found out that if i play street soccer, i will be more energetic during class. Okay. Nevermind. Then went home. Went home with shaun. Saw the bus 985. We missed it, so nevermind. Then we wanted to go take 187 one.. then jia wei walking behind us. We talk talk talk. then we agreed to walk home! BPGHS. Teck Whye Crescent to Bukit Batok St. 34 and with heavy bags. COOL! And now I am here blogging.

Post number 108.

Ouch. I injured my knee cap. Fell down when play street soccer, and dragged against the floor. Blood came out. Anyway. Was fun! zZz. Stupid. I am starting to hate some of my teachers. Damn it. Ms Goh. Yucks. Dun like her. Too bossy for my sake. And the face also a bit kiam pa. Ms Zizi. Too irresponsible from my point of view. Dunno how she teach. Papers come back only with a seen. Not ticks or crosses. MCs lots of times. Ms Suzanna Lee. Or whatever you spell it as. That only music teacher fomr my school. Damn it. She is bossy. Worse than Ms Goh. Anyway, come on. Even if they read this, it's not my business. Sue me for defamation. You ain't a big shot. There's freedom of speech on this world. I can say whatever I wish. Fuck fuck fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Hating the workload. Being super busy lazy nowadays.

I have thought about. It's not that I am trying to act cheem or what. But I am just fucked up with my life. I dun wanna be that loser. I dun want to be controlled by my surroundings. I wanna get out of my life. Live a good life. People tends to piss me off easily. I dunno why. Maybe my temper tank says 0. I dunno what's wrong. And I just dun give a fuck nowadays. This is damn bloody boring. Day in day out, school starts school ends. Nothing else. Then I stay home and rot with papers. If you are gonna say something that you know is obviously gonna piss me off, think again. Maybe you should just shut the fuck up. I dunno what I am capable of when I am fired up.

If you are gonna comment on this post, please. Dun comment on my personality. This is the way I am. I dun need you to tell me.

Quotes. All from Enimem's Songs.

I don't owe you a mo-therfuck-in thingI'm not Mr. N'Sync, I'm not what your friends think I'm not Mr. Friendly, I can be a prick If you tempt me my tank is on empty (is on empty).. No patience is in me and if you offend me I'm liftin you 10 feet (liftin you 10 feet).. in the air I don't care who is there and who saw me destroy you Go call you a lawyer, file you a lawsuit I'll smile in the courtroom and buy you a wardrobe I'm tired of arguin' (of arguin').. I don't mean to be mean but that's all I can be is just me And I am, whatever you say I am If I wasn't, then why would I say I am? Points a finger at me (finger at me).. So I point one back at 'em, but not the index or pinkie Or the ring or the thumb, it's the one you put up When you don't give a fuck, when you won't just put up. But I'm glad cause they feed me the fuel that I need for the fire To burn and it's burnin and I have returned. The why, the who what when, the where, and the how 'til I'm grabbin my hair and I'm tearin it out Cause they drivin me crazy (drivin me crazy).. I can't take it.

-The Way I Am


These fuckin' walls must be talking, cuz man I can hear 'em They're saying "You've got one more chance to do right" How could it be, that the curtain is closing on me I turn around, find a gun on the ground, cock it Put it to my brain and scream "god Shady" and pop it The sky darkens, my life flashes, the plane that I was supposed to be on crashes and burns to ashes

-When I'm Gone


But somehow it seems, the harder that I try to do that The more it backfires on me. Everything always happen for a reason I guess it was never meant to be But it's just something We have no control over And that's what destiny is. Now I'm sittin' in this empty house, Just reminiscing. And if you ask me to, gonna buy you a mocking bird I'ma give you the world, I'ma buy a diamond ring for you, I'ma sing for you, I'll do anything for you to see you smile And if that Mocking Bird don't sing and that ring don't shine I'ma break that birdie's neck, I'll go back to the jeweler Who sold it to ya And make him eat every carat

-Mockingbird

See. He raps about his life. Not for cash. And is rapping is very powerful. COOL!

POST

Okay. So many people tell me update. Fine I will. but tell more ppl to visit. If not no point for me posting, Haha. The days are fine. Holidays. Full of homeworks. And i haven't started. Good luck to me. I am just rotting in front of the comp. happy? damn it. miss soccer. I wanna play street soccer. dying to. But the damned weather restrained my temptation. lol. Fine.


Visit class blog for more things. Thank you!

Okay. My life bores me. Can? Nothing interesting happened. And i am bored.




I have updated. happy?

I made this video playlist at myflashfetish.com

Shiok ah!

Lol. Today NCC training was shiok. Quite slack. Lol. Drilling a bit. Sit in MP1 a bit. Chat with sergeants a bit. And Andre made fun of us and made us laugh a lot. Also, had PT. First time NCC PT play soccer play until so hiong. HAHA. The reason for today's quite slack training was due to that the part Bs and majority of the Part Cs went for the Ubin trip. And also because of the rain. :) lol. what's that smile for?? Anyway, i am starting to suck at soccer. Stamina going down. Speed going down. Aiming also going down. What the hell. I need intensive training. But who can conduct one for me?? HELP!

Some say love, it is a river That drowns the tender reed Some say love, it is a razor That leaves your soul to bleed Some say love, it is a hunger, An endless aching need I say love, it is a flower, And you its only seed It's the heart, afraid of breaking, That never learns to dance It's the dream, afraid of waking, That never takes a chance It's the one who won't be taken, Who cannot seem to give And the soul, afraid of dyin', That never learns to live When the night has been too lonely, And the road has been too long And you think that love is only For the lucky and the strong Just remember in the winter Far beneath the bitter snows Lies the seed, that with the sun's love, In the spring becomes the rose

Empty spaces fill me up with holesDistant faces with no place left to goWithout you within me I can't find no restWhere I'm going is anybody's guessI've tried to go on like I never knew youI'm awake but my world is half asleepI pray for this heart to be unbrokenBut without you all I'm going to be is incompleteVoices tell me I should carry onBut I am swimming in an ocean all aloneBaby, my babyIt's written on your faceYou still wonder if we made a big mistakeI've tried to go on like I never knew youI'm awake but my world is half asleepI pray for this heart to be unbrokenBut without you all I'm going to be is incompleteI don't mean to drag it on, but I can't seem to let you goI don't wanna make you face this world aloneI wanna let you go (alone)I've tried to go on like I never knew youI'm awake but my world is half asleepI pray for this heart to be unbrokenBut without you all I'm going to be is incompleteIncomplete

Totally fucked up.

What day is it? Mid week. Half of the week has gone, and 3 papers have passed. Okay. So I am gonna so damn fucking hell say this. Piss me off one more time, you are all getting it big time. Being rather pissed off this days, my moods not very stable. CRAP! What the hell. Mood swings. People may say. I just dun give a damn. Say all you want. I am just totally pissed off. Always like this. Being misunderstood all the time. And credited very little. What sort of human world is this?! They look at all the god damn mistakes you made. But not your merits. Come on. Since P4, papers with maximum marks of 50. I just seriously hate them. Or maybe less. 50, for an example. I usually go home, getting around 40-42. See. 40-42. I go home, and happily tell my mum. But what do I get? Discouraging remarks. Remarks like. WHAT? So little? Come on. IT'S over 50! Why not you get a 45?! See. I bloody hate this. Up till now. Just take today for an example. English lesson. People in front were making a hell lot of noise and i was keeping my tone real down then. I was sitting behind and trying to clarify some things with the person sitting next to me. Then immediately, when i then when forward to pick up a litter, the teacher without asking, told me to stand. What the hell. What a misunderstanding. Strong as I may appear. But truthfully, I am really worn out inside. I am really tired. Just not showing it.

No. 100 POST!

WOOTS! 100th post. Finally. WAHAHAHAHAHA. Okay. I know I took very long. Lazy can?! From coldhaters to in-hot-water! LOL. I changed the url only once! :D See. I don't change easily. WAHAHAHAHAHA. Okay. So I have decided to post.

LOL. Today stupid la. English complaint letter. LOL. Stupid what play soccer at void deck then make noise. I do that all the time can. Including the litter part. :D HEHE. I'm a bad boy.

Okay.Science. Physics. Saw the 1st question. Freaked out. But heng. My common sense saved me. LOL. Find the weight of the man. A) 40+N B)60+N C) 40+kg D) 60+kg LOL. I came up with the conclusion that A and B is too light too light. Then 50-50. A man. 40+kg is too light. Thus my answer. 60+kg! See. I am smart. Bio. The damn left side view of the female reproductive system. Cannot see a thing. Then question about castration. HAHA.

Okay. Recess play soccer. First fall. Tackling Melvin. BOOM! Slip and fell. Cheeks hit the board. Ouch. Then straight away. Tackle Jason. LOL. This twins. Dunno what to say. His dunno where. I think the shin hit my ankle. LOL. Ouch. Walked with a limp for 5 min. Then continue playing. HAHA. Street Soccer is FUN!

$$$$$$$$$$

Okay. Today went to Toa Payoh there watch Money No Enough 2. Hilarious. Provided that you understand hokkien. Not the simple simple kind. But the intermediate level. I was laughing laughing laughing. Then went for dinner at the central there. Chu Chiang Roasted Meat Noodles(if i remember correctly), beside it is tzi char. By the same boss. I really dun recommend it. It seriously sucks.Dunno how the hell it got its tv awards and all.
Basically, the sio ba(roasted pork)was super oily. Then roasted duck, the skin super soft, super thin. The rice ain't cooked properly and this 2 dishes was served cold, not warm. Then the soup. Super salty. Damn thirsty after having it. Fish head. I have tasted better.Tofu. It carries a little sour smell in it.. Oh ya. and everything is super salty there. Only thing good was the old uncle, who stood there, jio business with a smile, although rejected countless of times. And he also bade farewell with the customers leaving.

Nothing much to say. My injury not yet recovered. LOL. Adios.

I'm pissed off.

Okay. Today i got so fucked up. Starting was fine. Then 4 plus when cycling. Cycled to street soccer court. Saw marcus, linus and jun jie with someone else there. Decided to form team. Then when our turn play. The P6 malay guys, dunno come out from where one, come hiong with us. At first was okay. Extreme speed then i score one goal. Then the malay guy, with practically 0 sportsmanship, came forward, tackled me and kick my small toe. F.Y.I, I was playing bare-footed and he was playing with white shoes with hard corners around the shoe. I almost beat him up. I raised my hand. Then i suddenly thought that if other's dun have sportsmanship, it's their problem. I wouldn't want to lose mine. Then finish game. 5-2. Me playing with an injured leg when the score was 2-1. what the hell.

Anyway, i passed my IMT i suppose. haha. Signing off here. Adios.

P.s. I would keep my sportsmanship.

zZz

Okay. So this few days, i have been updaing class blog and neglecting my blog.. I am very sorry my blog. LOL! Okay. So yesterday i went to school. Maths lesson was super boring. Lit also.. I almost fell asleep. But torturing Hafiz kept me awake. =). Then I went to DnT Workshop to finish buffing my work. After that went to play soccer. Then played with ben they all. HAHA. Sort of train them a bit.. With ZW and all. HAHA! After that went back class, slacked then went to change into No. 4. Met Mr Liw then went down to HQ. Learnt how to strip and assemble then M-16. Also, learnt how to fire and aim. LOL! As i was stripping the damn rifle, the god damn thing when i was opening it hit my chin. Ouch. Then i finished then went learning how to fire that time, the stupid so heavy, caused my body to pain like siao... Then froze there. Me and ben was like WAH!!!! BUAY TAHAN AH! Then go back. Oil rifle. Had to do that 3 times or 2. Coz the person say mine not oiled properly. Then go back. I reached homke around 7. I was so god damn tired when i reached home. I quickly finished dinner and unpacking, then as i lied on my bed, i fell asleep. All the way till 8 this morning.

100 post. I am coming!

What the hell. So i spent 2 days at HQNCC for campFEAST. FEAST as in Fun Experiential Adventure Social cohesion Teamwork. Lalala. I dunno why am I saying all this but, I have nothing to say. I am just letting you people read more. Okay. First day of camp. Wasted like 1hr plus at the MPH. Then went to lunch. After that went put things at bunk. Went paintball. Gallery shooting. What the hell.. Then went to Flying Fox. Quite fun though. Then archery. Finish le go dinner or something. I forgot. Then Cohesion night. Emcee was quite funny. Then supper. Then debrief. After that, lights off. Wait. Before that was wash-up. Second day. Woke up 0530. super tired. Breakfast. I saw the sun rise from the cook house. Okay. No big deal. Rock climbed. Then high element. I forgot what happen after that. Obstacle course cancelled because of rain and time constraint. Damn. After that went back to school. Lalala. Then went home. Tired.

WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

OKAY! As promised to I forgot who, I am now posting. LALALALALA! Whatever that has need to come to an end has now finally be half way through the end. I feel that i am currently safe for now. What the heck. So many things happened. I dun want say. LALALALA! Shit. This is so fun. School is fun!

WAHAHAHAHAHHA!

LALALA

Okay. I have nothing much to post. My life is quite not very interesting now.

JAY-Z

OMG! Jay-Z rocks the hell out of me. Oh crap. Not his person. His raps. Lalala!!! You gotta hear them! Ang Moh! AH!!!!! Jay-Z-- American Gangster! Nice album! I want buy! Lalala! The tracks favourited by me:
No Hook
Pray
Blue Magic
Roc Boys
HAHAHAHAHAHA he rocks.
He is COOL!

LALALALALA!!! Jay-Z!!!!